As Good As Burnt Popcorn

As Good As Burnt Popcorn

Katelyn Styborski

Bad Chick Flicks – Watch them with your friends for the sake of making fun of them. You might find yourself unironically liking one, for the absurdity alone. A good way to waste 2 hours.

  • Tall Girl
    • A Google Review of the movie by Jake Bibo claims, “In conclusion, this movie is dreadful. The plot, acting, and message of this movie is just straight-up bad. Do not watch. According to the movie, being tall sucks. Do you know what else sucks? This movie.”
    • IMDB Score: 5.6/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: N/A
    • Audience Score: 21%
  • Kissing Booth 2
    • After a discussion, Veronica Scouten, self-proclaimed bad movie connoisseur claimed, “[She’d] rather watch Cats than the Kissing Booth 2.”
    • IMDB Score: 5.8/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 28%
    • Audience Score: 39%
  • Twilight Saga
    • Veronica Scouten claims this is “actually pretty entertaining,” however it is “not good.”
    • IMDB Score: 5.2/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 49%
    • Audience Score: 73%

Movies that are genuinely confusing – how did this get made? Why am I watching this? Why can I not bring myself to turn off the TV?

  • Killer Sofa
    • Keona Shear fell asleep during her first viewing of this movie. Her friend described the plot as, “Bland, uneventful, and illogical.” She followed it up with, “A chair that looks like the Michelin Man falls in love with a girl and its bad.”
    • IMDB Score: 3.6/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: N/A
    • Audience Score: N/A
  • The Bee Movie
    • “The Bee Movie drained the life out of me. […] Who let Jerry Seinfelf write a kids’ movie?” (Scouten 10).
    • IMDB Score: 6.1/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 49%
    • Audience Score: 53%
  • The Emoji Movie
    • While Jacksfilms may (ironically) stand by this movie, this movie is known for being a quick cash grab and an incredibly cringey viewing experience.
    • IMDB Score: 3.3/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 7%
    • Audience Score: 37%
  • The Lorax (2012)
    • Veronica cites this movie as, “only being enjoyable for little kids.” She said she could not get through it and opted to watch a better movie. However, she said that if you are a “Onceler simp,” you may find a way to sit through this movie.
    • IMDB Score: 6.4/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 54%
    • Audience Score: 63%

They had a good idea and then they ruined it – Mostly movie adaptations of shows and books that failed miserably. You might as well just watch the original, as long as this movie doesn’t turn you off from it.

  • Cats
    • Veronica Scouten described the Cats  movie as, “the visuals are so horrifying and some of the actors […] can’t sing. There’s nothing for the movie to fall back on.”
    • “I […] mourn what this film could’ve been.”
    • IMDB Score: 2.8/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 19%
    • Audience Score: 53%
  • Percy Jackson
    • “There’s not one single thing in it that will appeal to a person who has ever seen a mythological origin story before,” says critical viewer, Todd Gilchrist of H Magazine.
    • IMDB Score: 5.9/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 49%
    • Audience Score: 53%
  • Artemis Fowl
    • On an anonymous internet thread discussing bad movies, one user claimed that, “Everything […] was completely made up, […] and is portrayed in a way that would feel condescending to a five year old.”
    • IMDB Score: 4.2/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 8%
    • Audience Score: 19%
  • Divergent movies
    • An anonymous source claims that these movies are, “Fun to watch, for the sheer sake of [making fun] of them.”
    • IMDB Score: 6.6/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 41%
    • Audience Score: 69%

This is so bad that you can’t even bring yourself to finish it – Mostly rip offs of popular animated movies. If you’re going to watch this, you’re doing it to hate watch it.

  • The Garbage Pail Kids
    • As someone who personally remembers this movie from growing up, it is literal garbage. It will traumatize any children watching and will leave parents and older siblings bored out of their minds
    • IMDB Score: 2.6/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 0%
    • Audience Score: 27%
  • Mars Needs Moms
    • If you think the Polar Express was disturbing, Mars Needs Moms takes the Uncanny Valley effect to a whole other level. With gross character designs and even grosser moments, you’ll be shocked to learn that this was produced by Disney!
    • IMDB Score: 5.4/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: 37%
    • Audience Score: 40%
  • Plan Bee
    • There’s no review needed here. Just taking one look at the animation will leave you screaming for help. Danny Gonzalez deems this the “worst movie ever.” I doubt you’d disagree.
    • IMDB Score: 1.3/10
    • Rotten Tomato Score: N/A
    • Audience Score: N/A

Originally published in the Spartana Issue 7 (April 2021)